Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.