Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.